Little man

Christopher Walken was original cast as the presenter for the popular british brain-teaser - 'Countdown'. However, due to scheduling conflicts preventing him from committing to a full season, he was dropped in favour if the late Richard Whitely. There are currently plans to launch a new season with a new look and a holographic Whitely at the helm.

Landmine ahoy

It takes 43 chicken nuggets to build a single landmine used by the US military. Thanks to advances in preservative-technology this landmine can have a best-by date of up to three weeks.

Upside down

The handstand was discovered in 1258 by Arthur Handstand. The British government first tried to silence his discovery and worried its unveiling would cause mass panic.

Dead or Alive, you're coming with me

It's a little known fact that the 1980s movie 'Robocop' is based on a true story. Names were changed to protect the identities of parties involved.

To the Left

In the late 18th century it was common practice to shoot a left handed baby upon birth. This was later outlawed when it was discovered that left handed people make good gardeners

Polski Weslie

The Polish Wheelie was invented by Professor Nigel Bafta in 1982 for a short pornographic movie 'Midgets in Hoodies'. The move was made famous by Princess Diana in the early 90s and has become an iconic position featuring [it's own] chapter in the 2009 update of 'The book of Love'

The more the merrier

A group of 20 or more Welsh women is known as an "Quinsumoctidappaflogammibeaverinspectoroid"

Post-natal depression

In the state of Montana when a pregnant woman gives birth to her child in a hospital the only legal way to transport the child back to its new home is by posting it in a mail box.

Look up

Contrary to popular consensus, it's actually cats that cannot look up. Dogs have been able to look up since the early 70s.

Bad memory

The Elephant is the only safari animal that will go mental if you tug on its cock. Other animals, such as the cheetah, have been observed to speak french when sexually stimulated.

Seeds of doubt

Like sharks, Sperm cannot swim backwards. However - unlike sharks, sperm naturally produces a 'John Williams Suspenseful Cue' when attacking its prey.

Instrument of Death

The only sucessful way ever documented to kill a Moose is to hit it extremely hard in the solar plexus with a trumpet, this causes its guts to explode out its face, otherwise they are immortal.

Caught in a trap

Bobby Davro was originally set to tour with Elvis but had to cancel the arrangement when the pair fell out over which was best - Daddy or Chips.

Distance matters

The distance between a mans scrotum and his anus is equal to one 40th the distance between his favourite album and wrist (while held). This distance is measured in yanks.

Food for thought

Through a complex manufacturing process, the 'it' is removed from gravity to form gravy. This can be used to add a much needed flavour to ones favourite meat such as Kellogs Corn Flakes.

Lab rats

Scientific research has shown that lab rats respond to the word 'minge'. Upon hearing the word, it has been documented that responses range from simple sneezing, to rhetoric conversations on policies in the middle east.

Moaning Lisa

Recent scientific investigations using carbon dating into the Mona Lisa, Leonardo da Vinci's portrait painting, have revealed that her mouth was originally a vagina. Public outcry forced the artist to paint over the face with the now-famous 'frownsmile'.

Here in my Kar

The kar98 was actually the 97th rifle to be designed by the Germans during World War 2. The kar74 was scrapped after initial tests showed it to lubricate geese upon firing.

Duck and cover

Ducks cannot whistle, and instead have to rely on a short cough to attract attention.

Shark the Herald Angels Swim

Its a common misconception but Sharks can't actually swim, they do in fact move around the vastness of the oceans attached to a complex system of pulleys, ropes and hoists operated by big lobsters and the occasional crab on work experience.

Body facts

The Spleen is named after it's inventor - Sir Alfred Spleeon. The o was dropped from the name for legal reasons in 1943.

Runner Bean seen running

The fastest runner bean was clocked as moving at 17mph. That's almost twice as fast as the fastest recorded carrot.

You Can't Handle the Tooth

At a cellular level, teeth are atomically identical to windmills.

Call my Fluff

There is enough miscellaneous fluff in finland to fill a pocket the size of God's scrotum.

To the batmobile

Batman's primary mode of transport, the Batmobile, is powered by the souls of liquidised foetuses. This source of energy can fuel a vehicle at around 4 miles per gallon.

Makin' Bacon

Napoleon invented the Bacon Sandwich in 1816 to fuel his soldiers. It is rumoured that Hitler had investigated similar tactics but could find no way to control the nazi war machine once they had dined on pork.

Let there be light

Lightbulbs have been proven to cease to exist when no one is in a room. This is known as the reductive-panini theory.